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Thursday, October 2, 2008

What Mormons are into (Part 1)

My Utah Observations have recently accumulated a large quantity of pointless information. I decided to record them. I pray, brothers and sisters, that this becomes a continual service of mine.











12 comments:

Ames said...

Can I just tell you how much I hate the family stickers on the back of the Minivans (no offense to anyone that has one of these jems). This post really made me laugh

Erica Eley said...

These are funny! My favorite is the "family stickers". They're all very Utah-an. Ah, may heaven bless it.

Maggie said...

hahahahaha... camis and those things on the back of minivans. You are a culture-genius.

Fish Nat!on said...

i quite thoroughly enjoy this

L.G. Fife said...

This was funny- camis don't work by the way- do mo mo people really scrapbook funerals?

Anonymous said...

I have lived in Utah my whole life, and I have loved it. If I didn't love it I would leave. I come from long lines of people who have lived in Utah their whole lives also, but never in my life have I seen a business lunch at a fast food joint. Sometimes I've seen a few co workers go get lunch together at a fast food place, but never a business lunch.
I've heard that fry sauce did come from Utah, but it is now a national thing. Yes, even major food chains now carry fry sauce and I've had it more than once outside of Utah.
The multi level marketing thing, seriously do you really know anyone who does this? I don't... And I never have, but the businesses I have heard like this were based out of CALIFORNIA and New York, not Utah...
C.S. Lewis, okay so what is wrong with quoting an intelligent person and relating it to real life? I'll bet people outside of Utah do this too!
My cousin had to wait in a very long line to buy her Vampire book in Dallas Texas. And other than my few co workers, I don't even know anyone else in Utah who has read those books.
Okay scrapbooking I do feel is a waste of time and money. But I have a friend who's mom makes scrapbook paper and the very biggest convention she goes to is in Las Vegas NEVADA! Not Utah...
I don't wear cami's because they don't cover my garments, but I don't think there is any thing wrong not letting your boobs hang out, in fact most the time no one wants to see your boobs.
I've lived her my whole life and never ate green jello, even at a pot luck...
I do think the family stickers are weird.
What's wrong with praying for council? If you're going to move to a state where 90% of the population is LDS, you better expect to hear things like this. But even people outside of Utah pray about decisions...

Low Gain said...

Wow. I didn't realize this blog would get such feedback. I must say, i'm a little shocked. I guess I should put that into consideration. So, in so doing, I address our anonymous viewers.

Dear Mr./Mrs./Miss Anonymous,

Let’s get one thing clear right now. I don’t hate Utah. I don’t even dislike Utah. My friend, I actually really LIKE Utah. I think Utah is wonderful. If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t live here. I’d be back in California or Portland, Oregon or Seattle, Washington. But Utah is enjoyable to me.
There’s nothing wrong with poking fun at my own religion. I am a happy Mormon, a devout and active member of the church, who reads his scriptures daily, prays frequently (even for guidance and council if you can believe it) and who frequents his talks with quotes from C. S. Lewis as well as other non-LDS literary heroes. But I’m comfortable making fun of myself, as well as the small quirks that make us us. You don’t need to take offense. I’m not meaning it in a negative way. Everyone who reads my blogs are 99% Mormon, and are capable at laughing at the idea as well. A sense of humor is important.
You obviously aren’t looking hard enough for business lunches. A while back I counted up to 3 in one week in the same location (Burger Supreme, Orem). At one, the discussion was a pyramid scheme they were sucking a third lackie into. The other two were all about those big summer sales groups. Once again, there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s MY observation. Business Lunches go on all around us. My friend Aubrey and I sat next to one at Happy Sumo the other day.
Fry Sauce is such a staple in the LDS community. It started here. It’s one of few places you can actually find it bottled and marketed in stores. Yes, I’m sure it’s in Idaho or Texas or wherever, but that doesn’t mean us Mormon’s love it. Half the time I can’t even find the ketchup dispenser because it’s been replaced with two fry sauce dispensers.
Do I know anyone who does Multi-level marketing? Are you kidding me? How about my cousin Steve, or my sister Erica and her husband? How about the countless clients at my work who ask me to join their “teams” and “families”? The fact that an LDS film department made a movie about it (Believe) is proof enough. Check it out. It’s funny.
Of COURSE it’s okay to quote intelligent people. I am a fanatic of Mark Twain myself. I get it from my mom. But you can hardly make it through a Sacrament meeting, Stake Conference or General Conference without C.S. Lewis dropping by. That’s my observation. I guess I could’ve also said something about Webster’s Dictionary too. He shows up a lot.
You don’t know anyone in Utah who reads Twilight? You’re seriously joking, right? Walk through BYU campus and I promise you you’ll find at least a dozen who’ve read it. Twice. Half of them might actually have it in their backpack. Not to mention the author is a member. My co-workers, all LDS, have read it at least 2 times each.
Scrapbooking. Marielen Christensen of Spanish Fork, UT, is credited for bringing back the interest of Scrapbooking in the United States. In fact, you know what. Just read it here:
www.scrapbooks.com/history.php
I’ll let the facts and history explain for itself.
I’m all about modesty. As a brother to six sisters, I can’t stress that enough. I’m all about Cami’s or anything else that’ll cover up what shouldn’t be revealed. Once again though, this is MY observation. I commend girls who choose to add more layers to cover up than those who let it “all hang out”.
My grandmother makes green jell-o with carrots. Sometimes blue. Other times red. She’s from Panguitch, UT. Her mom before her did too. And pretty much all my Orem/Provo Utah friends and family alike know exactly what I’m talking about. Maybe you just need to get out more. Because I promise you, it’s there. And when that day comes, you’ll have me to think about.
I’m glad to see you AT LEAST agree with me on the family stickers.
Praying is awesome. Praying is grand. Praying is necessary. Praying can also become, at times, exploited. Trust me. I don’t need to go into details, but I have a handful of friends (guys as well as girls, but mainly guys) who have heard this one before: “We’re over. Why? Well, I prayed about it.” And that’s fine. But when said girl later confides in me that she said it just because she was tired of arguing why? Come on….. Heck, I prayed and received an answer just this morning about something. There’s nothing wrong with that. I recommend it. What I don’t recommend though, is using it as an argument stopper, because really, that’s a little messed up. And who in their right mind is going to continue to argue against what God has said?
And so, Mr./Mrs./Miss Anonymous, don’t be angry with me. I know it’s biased and lacking in statistical proof, but that’s not the point. The point is we should all be able to find humor in what makes us who we are. And unfortunately, you’re gonna have to. Because if you keep reading my blog, you’ll soon discover I have another list being cooked up as we speak. God be with you till we meet again.

Britt said...

You don't know who I am but I stubbled upon your blog I just wanted to say that I love it! You are so creative and you don't hold back and it's very refreshing! I especially liked this one!! Being a member of the LDS church and growing up in Utah County my whole life I completely agree with you and wanted to give you a little back up...I hate the stickers on the vans, I don’t wear cami’s but no a TON of people who do, I've actually read Twilight (as well as my sister, mom, countless aunts, friends, and even my brother), I am a customer service rep at a network marketing company and I can tell you there are a TON of people here in Utah that belong to ours, I’ve had my fair share of experiences with green Jell-o, love fry sauce, love scrapbooking, basically I agree with everything you said and kind of think “anonymous”is a little slow. Thanks for the blog Logan, it rocks! -Britt

Low Gain said...

I'm glad there are at least some people out there that can relate. As well as some people out there that realize I'm not making fun. I'm including myself in all of this. (Except I too, don't wear Cami's. But Fry Sauce is hecka bomb.)

Bo James said...

that person, clearly has never seen a halestorm entertainment produced movie.

t r a c i said...

i also enjoyed this, however i think you can do much better. these are only the most cliched stereotypes of mormons. come on, green jello.

Low Gain said...

True, they're cliche. Just as making lists are cliche. This was something I started while sitting at my desk in my bank. It was to be the beginning of a long list of "mormon likes." Obviously, I started off with the most well known, and from there I would expand. Hopefully some day I'll get around to picking up my blog and added on some less "obvious" mormon quirks.