A Prayer for more Moisture

Ah yes, the wonderful month of October, where our lives are richly blessed with the inspiring words and heartfelt anecdotes of the General Conference sessions. What a most splendiferous time of learning and understanding. No time is more looked forward to in the LDS community (besides a Temple marriage or a much anticipated Potluck of course)And I, the Mormon that I am, am easily numbered among the throngs that flock to the television screen, mind alert and ears and heart open to the promptings of the spirit. And with the wonderful blessing of rain pouring down upon the roofs of our abodes, pitter-pattering away in Mother Nature’s lullaby, I found myself in a state of euphoria. Truly, such discourses as Elder Uchtdorf’s "Come what may" and Elder Holland’s "Ministering Angels" were most appreciated in my life.

But, If I might make one, simple suggestion:

As our fellow brethren stand at the podium, and commence in the offering of prayers for more moisture and such, is it too much to ask that we offer them some moisture to their mouths?! What, are they applying Elmer’s Glue to their lips before they address the congregation? I mean, yeah, I get a little dry-mouthed due to nerves and such, but man, a simple glass of water can change all that! Don’t get me wrong, the prayers are the most beautiful, devoted petitions I hear, but that doesn’t mean the corner-of-the-mouth, sticky, pasty sound of peeling mucus membranes doesn’t reach my ears as well and cause slight (yet reverent) convulsions in my spine. I’m just saying, there is no way on earth I will EVER ignore that clammy cacophony of cottonmouth conversing that occurs at General Conference prayers. Just put a little sacrament cup-size water there, or a quick spray of kool-aid, or something. I love my brethren, and I love the church. But that sound, as unintentional as it is, is just unholy.