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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Shaq Fu

Two nights ago Salt Lake City had the privilege of a NBA home game, pitting the Jazz against the Phoenix Suns. Hooray, right? Another wonderful moment for all them Jazz fans to enjoy a great game of dribbling, dunking, passing, and shooting. That and making sure to boo at Shaquille O'neil with every fiber of their being. Now wait one second. Just hold the phone. Please tell me why everyone's hating on Shaq? What has the Big Cactus done to you? Why's everyone picking on the big guy? Just because he's 7 ft 1 in tall and weighing in at 325 lbs doesn't mean he's made of stone! Just because he's bigger than most two of you put together doesn't mean he's indestructible! Inside that big chest of his is an even bigger heart; a heart that needs to pump oxygen-filled blood throughout every portion of his body. And with such a big heart means he has big feelings, big feelings that could be hurt when people constantly harp on him. The poor guy gets boo'ed every time the ball touches his hands. Why is everyone booing? Is it because he donates millions to the Boys and Girls Club? Do they boo him because he hosted the reality show Shaq's Big Challenge, which helped kids loose weight and stay in shape? Do they boo him for affiliating himself with the Muslim religion? Is that too heathen? Too unpatriotic? Shaquille O'neil is a friendly man, with much love to give. Would everyone boo at Mother Teresa if she was out on the court? Well if she was 7 feet tall and bald they probably would, because look at what the mob is already stooped down to. Sure, he made a crappy movie about being a genie, and some albums where he raps about basketball, but hey! He's a good guy. Just cause he's big doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings. Everyone should feel ashamed for making his life harder every time he takes to the court to play some ball. Shaq doesn't come into your office when you're filling out CTS reports or distracting you from pouring an iced chai frappuccino for your paying customer. No, no he doesn't. He's got a game to worry about, and other things on his mind. He doesn't need you to pester him with your foul mouth and bad sportsmanship. As so, on behalf of Salt Lake City, Shaq, I apologize for the lack of courtesy. You deserve better. You've blessed the lives of many, and your large stature leaves many a lesser man in your shadow.

4 comments:

Lyndsay said...

tous chez! Thanks for standing up for the little guys, Logan. Wasn't the Jazz originally from NOLA? Just wondering. I wonder if they would be booing him still if he was traded to the Jazz...

Thanks for calling! I think I needed a touch base from a good friend, more than I realized.

*muah*

Justin said...

I don't know if it's just really late or if your post makes absolutely no sense, or both. But do you remember that terrible movie Shaq was in called "Shazaam!" I think the booing must have been those poor folks who spent their hard-earned money on that pile of crap.

Camille said...

poor Shaq! I love that man- I agree with you 100%- he is awesome! and i think that is shallow for people to boo at him!
Anyhoo- I heard you were getting hitched! So cool! Congrats 100 times over! Hopefully we have a Roe get-to-gether this summer and I can meet HER! :) (it's been 3 years since our last reunion) except for grandpa's funeral....

Jason, Kodi and Jake said...

Hey, are you still out there? I have been wondering what you have been up to?!